Well as the title says, I start stimming tomorrow, which means my blood tests showed I was surppressed enough! great news!
It was quite a funny time at the clinic today. I always knew I needed to have a mock transfer due to past treatment on abnormal cells on my cervix. What I didn't know was they were planning to do that today, much to my horror! I have always had a heavy periods, this month is no exception. I voiced my concerns to the nurse that I was heavy and was this ok, she assured me this was fine. The next nurse that came to get me took me to a room and assured me everything was ok and it was perfectly normal but I could come back tomorrow if i prefered....I looked a little oddly at her.....apparently the other nurse told her I was scared to have it done during my period! Talk about crossed wires, what I actually meant was I was concerned because I was heavy and it wasn't going to me much fun for them!! I mean how nice am I! Anyway it was soon over and done with and midly uncomfortable, like a really bad period cramp. So I left the clinic all slippery, if you know what I mean and headed back to work!
So I'm all ready to start injection number 2. I will be taking 225ml of Gonal F and then 0.25ml of Buserelin each morning. I was getting excited that all the headaches and tiredness I had been experiancing would slowly go, but its just my luck that some of the side effects of the Gonal F is headaches and tiredness! My next appointment at the clinic is on the 7th, this will be my first scan to see how my folicles are growing, then another scan on the 9th and fingers crossed egg collection week of the 12th......Its going soooo fast!
x
Monday, 29 March 2010
Sunday, 28 March 2010
One of those days.....
Well the weekend is nearly over :-( I'm more tired than I was Friday afternoon, how I have managed that, I do not know, and it's not like I have been busy.
We went out last night and it was the first time since starting treatment I have been out properly. I found it quite hard staying sober, watching everyone get merry, but OH was great. He knew I had a headache and was tired so we left at a reasonable time.
I set my alarm (and remembered to put the clocks forward) to get up and do my injection. I'm bloody glad that I managed to get back to sleep when I climbed back into bed otherwise I would have been even worse today.
I was looking forward to having a chilled day on the sofa reading my book, but no!! It was just my luck I was in a reastless, can't decide, can't settle, no attention span kinda mood, and poor OH got the brunt of it. It was kinda funny, I didn't want to read, watch tv, make cards, bake, clean, go out, play cards, nothing, absolutly nothing blew my skirt up. Now due to my inability to decide of anything it is now half 7 and the day is over. I'm finally going to chill and watch Dancing on Ice - The Final.
Tomorrow I have my blood test to make sure im Down regulated, and everything is nice and quiet, fingers crossed I am, so I can stat injection number 2. If im not, it's going to mean forking out for more drugs! Expensive times! One down side tomorrow is getting from Winchester to SOuthampton for 9 o'clock. Normally it's 20 mins to the clinic, but peek time is going to be a flipping nightmare! Road rage on a monday morning, you got to love it! x
We went out last night and it was the first time since starting treatment I have been out properly. I found it quite hard staying sober, watching everyone get merry, but OH was great. He knew I had a headache and was tired so we left at a reasonable time.
I set my alarm (and remembered to put the clocks forward) to get up and do my injection. I'm bloody glad that I managed to get back to sleep when I climbed back into bed otherwise I would have been even worse today.
I was looking forward to having a chilled day on the sofa reading my book, but no!! It was just my luck I was in a reastless, can't decide, can't settle, no attention span kinda mood, and poor OH got the brunt of it. It was kinda funny, I didn't want to read, watch tv, make cards, bake, clean, go out, play cards, nothing, absolutly nothing blew my skirt up. Now due to my inability to decide of anything it is now half 7 and the day is over. I'm finally going to chill and watch Dancing on Ice - The Final.
Tomorrow I have my blood test to make sure im Down regulated, and everything is nice and quiet, fingers crossed I am, so I can stat injection number 2. If im not, it's going to mean forking out for more drugs! Expensive times! One down side tomorrow is getting from Winchester to SOuthampton for 9 o'clock. Normally it's 20 mins to the clinic, but peek time is going to be a flipping nightmare! Road rage on a monday morning, you got to love it! x
Thursday, 25 March 2010
Woo hoo, the witch is here!
Im pleased to say the witch is here, she has unpacked and settled in nicely. I have to say though she has been a bit of a pain. for the last 5 days I have had cramps almost like she was going to turn up any minute but insted she has just been teasing me! Hey ho she is here! So this morning I called the clinic and arranged my day 4 bloods. These will make sure things have shut down nicely. Fingers crossed.....then I get to stab myself twice a day! Much fun.....
I'm still suffering with headaches, last nights was quite bad, and I felt quite sick, but I managed to fall asleep so that was the end of that. Its really hard to explain the headaches. Its not like a throbbing pain, like when you have a cold its like a head pain, but almost cloth like! Its diffecult to explain, that probably doesn't help at all.
All and all its been a great week. I'm still feeling positive and excited, OH has been fantastic, I really can't fault him, apart from his insistance of sticking his finger in my belly button because 1, I hate it and 2 he knows once im preggers he is not to do it! so he is taking every oppertunity.
I have to say though, I have read lots of storys about how hard people find this journey and how much of a strain it can put on a relationship, but I can honestly say that i'm doing good, fantastic in fact! Am I weird??? :-)
Rock on the weekend!!! x
I'm still suffering with headaches, last nights was quite bad, and I felt quite sick, but I managed to fall asleep so that was the end of that. Its really hard to explain the headaches. Its not like a throbbing pain, like when you have a cold its like a head pain, but almost cloth like! Its diffecult to explain, that probably doesn't help at all.
All and all its been a great week. I'm still feeling positive and excited, OH has been fantastic, I really can't fault him, apart from his insistance of sticking his finger in my belly button because 1, I hate it and 2 he knows once im preggers he is not to do it! so he is taking every oppertunity.
I have to say though, I have read lots of storys about how hard people find this journey and how much of a strain it can put on a relationship, but I can honestly say that i'm doing good, fantastic in fact! Am I weird??? :-)
Rock on the weekend!!! x
Sunday, 21 March 2010
Side effects.......
Now I don’t think im suffering to much with “side effects” however some strange things are going on. The first one being my ability to say the most random things at the most inappropriate times. I was sitting in a meeting on Friday and decided to announce to my colleagues that I needed a wee. So very embarrassing. The second one was equally bad. I told the lovely kind bus driver I couldn’t be arsed to walk home, he didn’t even ask me anything apart from “where to”, I was in the process of sending a friend a text, so I guess it was another, say what your thinking moment. I never suffer with this but it’s becoming a recurring problem!
I know the point of the Burserlin is to induce a chemical menopause, shutting off parts of the brain that produce all those lovely FSH chemicals, but I think it is also shutting off other parts of my brain, the think before you speak part! I guess the upside is im amusing my colleagues!
The other strange thing is so far I have been waking up in the morning in the most fabulous moods. Usually im terrible, snappy and cranky, OH wouldn’t even try poking me with a stick, but the last week I have cuddled up to OH, much to his delight, floated out of bed happy and smiley and generally been on top form (mood wise). I hope this has a lasting effect!!
In all honestly though, this isn’t a walk in the park. Although there is no effect to my mood I am really tired all the time and have this dull cloth like headache that is there all day. Some days I will eat whatever I can lay my hands on and other days I crave veg and all that good stuff, I generally feel yuck most of the day.
Fingers crossed the witch will turn up in a few days, this is only the 2nd time in our whole quest for a family I can say I want the witch to turn up. I can then book my base scan to make sure I have down regulated enough. So really all going to plan I should start stimulating in a 7-10 days, your meant to feel better when that starts! Yipppeeeeeeee! xx
I know the point of the Burserlin is to induce a chemical menopause, shutting off parts of the brain that produce all those lovely FSH chemicals, but I think it is also shutting off other parts of my brain, the think before you speak part! I guess the upside is im amusing my colleagues!
The other strange thing is so far I have been waking up in the morning in the most fabulous moods. Usually im terrible, snappy and cranky, OH wouldn’t even try poking me with a stick, but the last week I have cuddled up to OH, much to his delight, floated out of bed happy and smiley and generally been on top form (mood wise). I hope this has a lasting effect!!
In all honestly though, this isn’t a walk in the park. Although there is no effect to my mood I am really tired all the time and have this dull cloth like headache that is there all day. Some days I will eat whatever I can lay my hands on and other days I crave veg and all that good stuff, I generally feel yuck most of the day.
Fingers crossed the witch will turn up in a few days, this is only the 2nd time in our whole quest for a family I can say I want the witch to turn up. I can then book my base scan to make sure I have down regulated enough. So really all going to plan I should start stimulating in a 7-10 days, your meant to feel better when that starts! Yipppeeeeeeee! xx
Wednesday, 17 March 2010
Injection 1 & 2 done and dusted
Well well, all I can say is easy peasy!
The morning of my first injection I was as calm as a cucumber! OH was fussing something silly around me....He left all the bits I would need on the coffee table with a picture of a big smily face the night before and brought my a 5 pack of snickers, and a huge bunch of roses. So Tuesday morning I showered and dressed and settled my self to get it over and done with. Once I found a sutible chair where I could actually grab a couple of inches I held the needle against my skin and a quick dart motion I had it in, in that same split second I pulled it out, I think it was the shock that I actually did it! Anyway I "darted" again and injected al the drug.....I was so proud I did it and so was OH.
Todays injection was harder, for some reason I hesitated more, I don't know why because it is completly painless, however there was no way of getting out of it so this time I pressed it into my skin and off I went again painless.
So, so far so good! I feel absolutly fine, slightly hyper but fine. I do seem to want to eat all the time though! Im not sure if this is a side effect or, im just eating. I guess time will tell.
OH is still waiting for me to grow a second head and start breathing fire, I have my fingers tightly crossed that I wont get like that and I just fly through it.
Now I just have to keep up the injections and wait for the witch to arrive.....then onto the next step x
The morning of my first injection I was as calm as a cucumber! OH was fussing something silly around me....He left all the bits I would need on the coffee table with a picture of a big smily face the night before and brought my a 5 pack of snickers, and a huge bunch of roses. So Tuesday morning I showered and dressed and settled my self to get it over and done with. Once I found a sutible chair where I could actually grab a couple of inches I held the needle against my skin and a quick dart motion I had it in, in that same split second I pulled it out, I think it was the shock that I actually did it! Anyway I "darted" again and injected al the drug.....I was so proud I did it and so was OH.
Todays injection was harder, for some reason I hesitated more, I don't know why because it is completly painless, however there was no way of getting out of it so this time I pressed it into my skin and off I went again painless.
So, so far so good! I feel absolutly fine, slightly hyper but fine. I do seem to want to eat all the time though! Im not sure if this is a side effect or, im just eating. I guess time will tell.
OH is still waiting for me to grow a second head and start breathing fire, I have my fingers tightly crossed that I wont get like that and I just fly through it.
Now I just have to keep up the injections and wait for the witch to arrive.....then onto the next step x
Monday, 15 March 2010
Injections start tomorrow!
So I have started the Provera tablets and im taking them at 8 in the morning as directed! Im still not sure exactly why im taking them. From trawling the net I think it just something that can go alongside Buserlin.......I'm sure they have there reasons. I don't think they are effecting me. I have felt some weird niggles in my ovary area that I don't normally get.....I'm trying not to look out for symptoms as it will make me nuerotic. Im tired, which is pretty usual, and it is monday and I have cut out caffine.
My OH has been great and making sure im ok. Im not sure I can handle this for weeks on end, it's quite smothering, I know he means well, but its like he thinks that as soon as I pop that pill im going to become a monster.......bless him.
So tomorrow morning is my first injection. On Sunday I got one of the needles out and had a closer look. It's not as scary as it looks, I placed it against my skin and visulised actually injecting myself. It really doesn't seem scary at the moment! im quite positive that it will be ok and I wont sit there for ages willing myself to do it, or chase my self round and round. I think its going to be a 1..2..3 and in. I plan to have the TV on at the same time and hope it distracts a little. The last thing I need is OH standing over me the whole time saying "you ok" I just need to get the first one over and done with.
It still doesn't feel real. Im not sure if this is a good or bad thing? Im positive and im trying to deal with each day as it comes.................rock on tomorrow, I CAN DO IT!!
My OH has been great and making sure im ok. Im not sure I can handle this for weeks on end, it's quite smothering, I know he means well, but its like he thinks that as soon as I pop that pill im going to become a monster.......bless him.
So tomorrow morning is my first injection. On Sunday I got one of the needles out and had a closer look. It's not as scary as it looks, I placed it against my skin and visulised actually injecting myself. It really doesn't seem scary at the moment! im quite positive that it will be ok and I wont sit there for ages willing myself to do it, or chase my self round and round. I think its going to be a 1..2..3 and in. I plan to have the TV on at the same time and hope it distracts a little. The last thing I need is OH standing over me the whole time saying "you ok" I just need to get the first one over and done with.
It still doesn't feel real. Im not sure if this is a good or bad thing? Im positive and im trying to deal with each day as it comes.................rock on tomorrow, I CAN DO IT!!
Friday, 12 March 2010
All ready to go!
We had our appointment at the clinic yesterday where we went through all the consent forms and was shown how to inject. I was really please because OH had questions to ask, which I didn't think about and it showed he actually was listening and understanding what we are about to go through.
The best bit was when the nurse mentioned the side effects of the down reggulation and told OH to be patient and realise that being irritable and moody is a side effect. I really hope he takes that on board because he has a habit of being insensitive when PMT arrises!
Im slightly annoyed that they were really keen for me to do the injections in the morning! Im rubbish in the morning, I can just about drag myself out of bed, get showered and get myself off to work with out adding an injection and in a few weeks a second injection!!! The reasoning behind doing them in the morning is you wont spend the rest of the day worring about doing the injection! I can see where they are coming from but im just not that sort of person. Hey ho, mornings it is!
So Sunday is the start when I pop that first pill, then on Tuesday the injections will start.
Bless OH he seems to think that as soon as I take that first tablet im going to have every side effect! I bloody hope not, but I do intend on having a chilled Sunday, actually a chilled out cycle of ICSI!!! PMA all the way!
The best bit was when the nurse mentioned the side effects of the down reggulation and told OH to be patient and realise that being irritable and moody is a side effect. I really hope he takes that on board because he has a habit of being insensitive when PMT arrises!
Im slightly annoyed that they were really keen for me to do the injections in the morning! Im rubbish in the morning, I can just about drag myself out of bed, get showered and get myself off to work with out adding an injection and in a few weeks a second injection!!! The reasoning behind doing them in the morning is you wont spend the rest of the day worring about doing the injection! I can see where they are coming from but im just not that sort of person. Hey ho, mornings it is!
So Sunday is the start when I pop that first pill, then on Tuesday the injections will start.
Bless OH he seems to think that as soon as I take that first tablet im going to have every side effect! I bloody hope not, but I do intend on having a chilled Sunday, actually a chilled out cycle of ICSI!!! PMA all the way!
Tuesday, 9 March 2010
Special delivery
Well my drugs arrived today.....in a bloody big box.
I was told they would arrive between 8-4pm, what stupid timing, it meant I couldn't go anywhere, I was a prisoner for the day.
When they eventually arrived at 1 o'clock, I couldn't wait to have a nose and check out what I was up against! Im not sure what I was expecting but it was sort of deflating! There was this stupid purple zip up case, what its meant to be for I don't know, there was nothing in it, so now it is storing my needles, buserlin, presseries and sharps bin! the rest is in the fridge! I slightly miffed that there was no alcohol wipes included, I guess I will have to go buy some.
It all seems so more real now. My best friend and I were discussing how many eggs to have put back in, and to be honest the thought of twins scares the living **** out of me. I like the idea when they are older, 3 upwards, but its the thought of trying to cope with 2 when they are so dependant. OH would quite happily have twins..........We will make our mind up when the time comes. we have far to many hurdles to get over first.
2 more sleeps till I find out my full protacol and know whats going where and all that jazz!! Roll on Sunday!
I was told they would arrive between 8-4pm, what stupid timing, it meant I couldn't go anywhere, I was a prisoner for the day.
When they eventually arrived at 1 o'clock, I couldn't wait to have a nose and check out what I was up against! Im not sure what I was expecting but it was sort of deflating! There was this stupid purple zip up case, what its meant to be for I don't know, there was nothing in it, so now it is storing my needles, buserlin, presseries and sharps bin! the rest is in the fridge! I slightly miffed that there was no alcohol wipes included, I guess I will have to go buy some.
It all seems so more real now. My best friend and I were discussing how many eggs to have put back in, and to be honest the thought of twins scares the living **** out of me. I like the idea when they are older, 3 upwards, but its the thought of trying to cope with 2 when they are so dependant. OH would quite happily have twins..........We will make our mind up when the time comes. we have far to many hurdles to get over first.
2 more sleeps till I find out my full protacol and know whats going where and all that jazz!! Roll on Sunday!
Wednesday, 3 March 2010
5K lighter!!!
Well today I paid the invoice for ICSI! No matter how quick the women taking my card details said £3965, I still let out a little squeek! I did ask if she could drop a 0 off the end, but she wasn't having any of it :-) Well as I'm told all the time, if you don't ask you don't get! hahaha!
I also called the drug company as I was worried about them delivering, I have a funny week at work next week and the only available day I could be at home was Tuesday, and just by chance thats the day they are going to deliver. So another 1K down and my drugs are on the way....
It all seems so very real now we have parted with all that money. Im not stressing as much, worrying about it not working and all that money gone. My OH says its like walking into a casino and putting 5k on red, and that is pretty much where we are, with slightly lesser odds......
I have now let my boss know that treatment is due to start on the 14th and apoligised in advance for irational outbursts and moods swings, his words were "swing away" and "if you need to work at home, then thats fine". I couldn't ask for more to be honest.
I have to mention my amazing family and friends. They have been so supportive throughout every test prod and poke, they have listened to my every worry, story and irrational thought. They have learnt when I just don't want to talk about it, and know when to just leave me alone. My only one regret is the amount of people that know that we are going through ICSI. I end up telling the same story over and over, and i now realise that if its bad news I have to tell them all!
It also occured to me that the date I actually start the treatment is Mothering Sunday! Surely that has to be a good sign. I'm not the type of person that looks for signs, but for once im clinging on to the 14th being a good omen.....<3
I also called the drug company as I was worried about them delivering, I have a funny week at work next week and the only available day I could be at home was Tuesday, and just by chance thats the day they are going to deliver. So another 1K down and my drugs are on the way....
It all seems so very real now we have parted with all that money. Im not stressing as much, worrying about it not working and all that money gone. My OH says its like walking into a casino and putting 5k on red, and that is pretty much where we are, with slightly lesser odds......
I have now let my boss know that treatment is due to start on the 14th and apoligised in advance for irational outbursts and moods swings, his words were "swing away" and "if you need to work at home, then thats fine". I couldn't ask for more to be honest.
I have to mention my amazing family and friends. They have been so supportive throughout every test prod and poke, they have listened to my every worry, story and irrational thought. They have learnt when I just don't want to talk about it, and know when to just leave me alone. My only one regret is the amount of people that know that we are going through ICSI. I end up telling the same story over and over, and i now realise that if its bad news I have to tell them all!
It also occured to me that the date I actually start the treatment is Mothering Sunday! Surely that has to be a good sign. I'm not the type of person that looks for signs, but for once im clinging on to the 14th being a good omen.....<3
Monday, 1 March 2010
The postman brought me a lovely surprise!
Just a quick post today........
Thank god Monday is over with! The only thing keeping me going is the countdown to the 10th March, which is when we have our set up appointment! I woke up in a foul mood this morning, and took it out on OH, he has finally got used to my morning grumpiness and now just leaves me alone to fester in my bad mood.
Another normal day at work (crikey how exciting is my life) I need to tell my boss about my impending treatment. He knows it’s going to happen but I better tell him it’s this month, just so he can prepare for possible mood swings and time away from the office! Thank god for flexible working, I think it may be my saviour, when im not in the mood to deal with colleagues I can shut myself away.......!
When I got home there confirmation for our set up appointment had arrived along with my drug list, consent form and invoice for just under 4k!! To add insult to injury they want the money before we attend the appointment, and apparently the drug company would be in touch to arrange delivery of the drugs and request payment!
I casually left the invoice on the coffee table for OH to see when he got home! What a lovely girl I am. In all fairness we both knew how much this was going to cost, it was just seeing it in black and white!
So day closer and im just as excited. I have the weekend to myself and im looking forward to watching chick flicks and eating chinese, having so proper me time, I can't wait!
Until tomorrow...............................x
Thank god Monday is over with! The only thing keeping me going is the countdown to the 10th March, which is when we have our set up appointment! I woke up in a foul mood this morning, and took it out on OH, he has finally got used to my morning grumpiness and now just leaves me alone to fester in my bad mood.
Another normal day at work (crikey how exciting is my life) I need to tell my boss about my impending treatment. He knows it’s going to happen but I better tell him it’s this month, just so he can prepare for possible mood swings and time away from the office! Thank god for flexible working, I think it may be my saviour, when im not in the mood to deal with colleagues I can shut myself away.......!
When I got home there confirmation for our set up appointment had arrived along with my drug list, consent form and invoice for just under 4k!! To add insult to injury they want the money before we attend the appointment, and apparently the drug company would be in touch to arrange delivery of the drugs and request payment!
I casually left the invoice on the coffee table for OH to see when he got home! What a lovely girl I am. In all fairness we both knew how much this was going to cost, it was just seeing it in black and white!
So day closer and im just as excited. I have the weekend to myself and im looking forward to watching chick flicks and eating chinese, having so proper me time, I can't wait!
Until tomorrow...............................x
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
