Test day tomorrow!

I haven't written loads about my 2ww, to be honest im trying to pretend its not a big deal, I don't want to sit and symptom spot all day every day.

So it's the eve before test day and im feeling quite hopefull. It has been such a roller coaster the last 2 weeks, in a nut shell this is how it went

• 1 -5 dpt - cramps, niggles, twinges, pokey feelings. My boobs hurt like hell. I put most of this down to my body recovering from the egg collection
• the eve of 5 dpt - a little bit of reddy brown blood when wiping
• 6 and 7 dpt - niggles and cramps
• Eve of 7dpt - moore reddy brown blood when wiping
• 8dpt - More reddy brown spotting, a little heavier, called clinic who advised there was nothing they could do and if it was going to fail, it was going to fail
• 9 and 10 dpt nothing, absolutly nothing, not even a twinge and boobs no longer hurt
• the last 3 days I have had sicky moments, veiny sore boobs, peeing more, extreme hunger

So here I am ready and rareing to test, its going to be a long old evening.......im just hoping im not heading for a fall

Twinkle xx

1 week in, 1 week left

Well this is one hell of a 2ww! It all started really well. Felt rubbish, had lots of niggles, pains and extremly tender boobs. I have been good, no caffine alcohol, eaten healthly had reqular sleep..........but not all is good.

This morning I have been having reddy brown on the tissue after wipping! To say it has scared me is an understatement! Im freaked out something stupid. im 8days past 3 day transfer and i'm trying to stay rational.

I called the clinic, which to be honest wasn't very helpful. The said its either an irritation to the pesseries or its failing. The nurse didn't beat about the bush, didn't try to reasure me with "well sometimes it happens", basically if its going to fail its going to fail....Once I put the phone down I promptly burst into tears. This is the first time since starting this treatment I have cried.

I have told OH who is now worrying, I wish I had kept quiet to be honest. I know this isnt the end, what I have been seeing is nothing really. Its not bright red and it really is minamal, but I can't stop thinking about it.

I guess i'm going to have to wait. Test day is on the 29th and there is no reason to give up xxx

PUPO

Well im officially PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise)..............

It was a funny old experiance. Im lying there in my lovely white towel, full bladder and speculum keeping everything in show and OH is sitting there with his shocking blue shoe covers, rubbing my shoulder, which I know is his way of say, "god I hope your ok" anyway we had 2, 8 cell embryos, one was good and the other very good. This was apparently really good and what they would expect on a 3 day transfer!

Unfortunatly the other 2 were no good for freezing. We even came away with a little ultasound pic of our 2 white dots.......Fingers crossed the implant nicely! God this is so exciting! x

Well egg collection, what can I say!

I completly forgot to update this with my egg collection story. To be honest I have been out of it for the last few days! That sedation stuff is gooood!

We turned up at the clinic in good time on monday and straight away I was ushered downstairs and OH was quickly kissed good by!  It was a funny old set up. It was a lovely warm room with 3 recliner chairs and 2 trollys. First of all I was asked to change into the gown in the loo, then I was sat in one of the comfy recliner chairs and asked a load of questions like, "are you wearing any nail polish" , "do you have any false limbs" and so on. So i'm sitting in this room there is another girl across form me in her gown waiting for her turn and another girl sitting drinking tea recovering, a girl on a trolly who has just come back from theater and the nurses fussing around. It was a weird old setup but it kinda worked. It meant there was always someone to chat with and it was friendly. About 10 minuets before it was my time I had the canula popped it, and my god that hurt. They did it in the crease of my elbow but struggled with a vein. It ended up being almost on the out side of my arm, so was quite painful.

The rest is a little blurry! I was made comfy, whch included legs in the stirups, there was a slight issue with this due to my long legs, so for the next 5 minuets I had a lovely nurse adjusting them, but it resulted in her head right on my bits! I then comfirmed my details and they started to inject the sedation, I had the funny taste in my mouth and I remember saing something like "ooooo I can feel it" That was all I remember, next thing I was being shiffted onto the trolly and wheeled back in the room. Somewhere over an hour disapered and next thing im back on the chair drinking tea and eating biscuits!

It was lovely to chat to other in the same position, but it was so nerve wracking wondering how many eggs did they get, has it worked. Eventually I meet OH in another room where I was told they got 7 eggies! I was over the moon and so was OH. We were told someone would call tomorrowwith fertilisation results. When we got home OH cooked some food because I was starving and then I promptly fell asleep for 3 hours!
All in all It was a good experiance, I haven't really had much pain, just this almighty feeling of trapped farty wind!

That night I slept like a log, I woke at 7 to start the pesseries and fell back to sleep. I woke to the phone ringing, it was the clininc letting me know out of the 7 eggs, 5 were suitable and were injected, out of those 5, 4 fertilised! To say I was happy was an understatement, its great news.

We are back to the clininc tomorrow for transfer and then the 2 week wait begins...........

Egg collection tomorrow!

Well I have a new set of worries now!!!

I had my second scan on friday and the small number of follicles I do have have all grown nicely, Chantelle was happy, which is really reassuing! I have come to the conclusion that the whole right side of me is useless! My right knee has no cartilage behind it, I have tendonitus in my right wrist and elbow, and im partially deaf in my right ear......ohhhhh and now my right ovary seems to be useless!

I did my trigger shot at 1030pm Saturday night! OH was on a stag do so I was all alone! Which im glad about he would have only fussed!

So my new set of worries..................I have egg collection tomorrow, which im ok about! Im used to people peering in my lady bits and prodding me with needles, all I have to worry about is 1, them finding my eggs, and 2, them fertilizing! I can't even imagine how im going to cope till I have that phone call telling me what's happening! I think it will be about 24 hours after egg collection. Im not even close to thinking about what its going to be like when they put them back and im PUPO (pregnant untill proven otherwise) I can't let my self think that far ahead!

I actually feel sick with worry that they wont fertilise! But I have to remember they will be given as much chance as possible! Please look after my little eggies!

The next time I post I will know what they managed to get and how well they are doing!

Say a little prayer for me and blow some sparkley dust my way! xxx

First scan yesterday :-(

Yesterday was my first scan since I had started stimming! The reason I didn't write this last night was because I was upset, but now I have seen the positive side of things and stressing less.

The nurse was just lovely showing me my insides, even my bowel wich was moving about and quite disgusting, all I could think of was is "ooooo theres poos in there" Anyway it turns out I haven't responded as well as they would expect a 29 year old to, especially as all my blood results were pretty much normal. It turns out my right ovary has struggled and produced 2 small follicles. My left ovary has produced 5 folicles, and they are all around the 12-16 mm mark which is good, apparently! The nurse wasn't overly conserned but reasured me that its quality not quantaty and due to my age the hope them to be beautiful eggs! Now we have to hope they keep growing and that OH swimmer defrost well and we have some kick arse embies to pop back, and the best outcome would be some to freeze!

I had a little cry but looking at the positive side! All is not lost and I have to concentrate on whats there and not wish for more! I intend to spend the next few days drinking loads of fluid drinking lots of milk and hugging my hot bag thingy. Tomorrow I have my 2nd scan. Hopefully they have grown and all is good for egg collection next week!!!!!!!

Feeling lots of love and positivity today! PMA!!!!!!!! xxxx

It's been nearly a week!

I can't believe how quick the last week has gone............Stimming has been fine and completly painless so its all going well.

I still don't feel great, still so tired and pretty much have a headache all the time. I have also found my moods a bit up and down. Twice last week I popped into town and pretty much had an emotional melt down over the most silly things, I ended up walking back to work teary eyed and snotty. I have also found it harder to be around people, I feel so antisocial. I'm not sure if this is the drugs or people constantly asking me how I was and where we were with treatment. I guess some of this is our fault for telling people.....to late now though.

I'm starting to feel things working down below. It feels abit like ovulation niggles but its lasting alot longer, I am also starting to bloat! It's a weird old feeling, but I know its a good thing. My next scan is Wednesday so fingers crossed everything is doing as it should.

I have had a lovely long weekend and I really could do without going into work tomorrow! Still a 4 day week and im praying that all going well egg collection will be just over a week away..........x